A friend who is well aware of my intransigent singleness sent a missive today by text with greetings for the holiday. "Thnx!" I replied, with a heart. Then, he asked, "How do you relate to this holiday?" Meaning: what do you make of it, seeing as this day is not particularly set up for people living outside of traditional couple relationships, and that much of our popular culture therefore assumes Valentine's Day must be a period of mourning and repentance for those of us who by choice, inclination, or circumstance find ourselves single.
With a rapier flash, my reply came to me- and it was an accurate and honest one. What do I make of Valentine's Day? "I use it as a chance to advocate for family unity for couples threatened with separation by US immigration policies," I wrote back. For this is the literal truth. I knew it in an instant, as well as all it implied.
I do not have to go about in sackcloth and ashes on this holiday; neither do I need to scorn or envy those for whom it is a meaningful occasion. I am not in a couple, but I can support the loving relationships of others. I do not want it for myself, but I can defend the rights of those who do.
And with that, the saving balm of Vachel Lindsay's words came to my mind, from one of my all-time favorite poems: My life’s unkind, but I can vote for kindness./I, the unloving, say life should be lovely. And likewise I, who am single, can advocate for people in relationships. And for single people. And for the freedom of each to decide - and celebrate - whichever they choose to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment