Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Trump L'Oeil

When you see that Oompa Loompa
Prating away up there
A Gerald L.K. Smith
With rather more orange hair
Your sides they shake with laughter
Your eyes and nose go runny
(But then—I hear they used to think
The goosesteppers looked funny)
That comparison, you tell me,
Has started to seem quaint
(Comparisons always are of course
Until one day they aint)
I guess:

It was only a matter of time before
They started to get wise
To the fact that lowering often is
The fastest way to rise
So why stop there? and be so
    Easily outdone
Why should this (not-quite-Gabriel’s)
    Trump have all the fun?
 I for one am not yet ready
To mourn the American dream
So here’s an even radder agenda
I propose for 2016

1. On the subject of our economy
I've got a real quick fix
We'll monetize the poor and then we'll
Supersize the rich

Here's how:
Some of my primary challengers say
We oughtta give food stamps a rest
Others think we should keep it,
But add on a drug test 
But here's a new idea that’s
  Got 'em both beat, honey
How’s about we test them still
And not give ‘em money!
2. With respect to matters of criminal justice
    I'm a compassionate man
I'm enlightened enough to see, like you,
    The status quo can't stand.
They tell me, for one, our prisons'
Overcrowding is a disaster
So I propose we kill the inmates
Off a little bit faster
3. As for immigrants I gently aim
To wipe all their tears away
(Since those like all the rest of them
Will not be allowed to stay)

Maybe you immigrant kids grew up reading
   That Virtue gets rewarded –
We'll see if you still believe it when
   Mom and Dad get deported.

And that concludes my campaign promises
In all their burnished fame
What do you think of that you scroungers
And the rest of the usual fair game?

I'm talking to you out there, you
(Welfare and fairy)
Just wait until you sniff what I'm cooking
Up for 2018

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