There is a moment in Italo Svevo's poignant early novel, As a Man Grows Older--one of two books the Triestene writer published during his period of obscurity as a young author, before he gave up literature in discouragement, only to be coaxed back decades later into setting pen to paper by an improbable and fateful friendship with James Joyce--when the novel's hapless and irresolute, yet touching and lovable protagonist Emilio (a forerunner in these qualities of Svevo's later and more famous literary creation Zeno Cosini) is suddenly reminded, by the sight of a group of laborers on a river, of his earlier socialist convictions.
It occurs to him that these beliefs, his former political faith and the visionary dreams of human flourishing that they engendered, now seem very remote from him. It's not that he ever renounced them; they just seem distant from his present life. And at once this fact fills him with shame. "He was stricken with remorse for having betrayed his earlier ideals and aspirations," writes Svevo (De Zoete trans. throughout); "for the moment the whole of his present life seemed to him to be a kind of apostasy."