This Be The Post

 Politico ran a piece yesterday commenting on the as-yet-unconfirmed reports that Elon Musk's thirteenth child was just born to yet another woman. The article framed this as a source of tension in the neo-fascist MAGA movement—one that pits the "family values" social conservative stream against the tech bro culture that has embraced Elon's decidedly "non-traditional" family structure. 

But another way to see it is that the strange obsession with high birth rates is a unifying factor in an otherwise divided extreme-right movement. One of the few things that Catholic theocrats, xenophobic nativists/white nationalists, and Silicon Valley eugenicists can all agree upon—after all—is that high-status white males (if no one else) should be producing a lot of offspring. 

Of all the figures in Trump's orbit, J.D. Vance perhaps embodies all of these contradictions most directly. He is both a Peter Thiel acolyte and a neo-reactionary "rad trad." No wonder, then, that Vance has been so obsessed with birth rates and pro-natalism. It is the singularity at which the white nationalist, Catholic "integralist," and Bay Area tech fascist streams of his ideology all converge. 

Plus, increasingly, this obsession with birth rates and childbearing even provides a convenient way to loop in the MAGA movement's growing devotion to the Kremlin. Shortly after Vance made headlines last year with his insulting "cat lady" comments, after all (directed against childless women), the Russian state announced new legislation outlawing the advocacy of "child-free lifestyles." 

It would seem Vance and Putin are increasingly taking cues from one another. No surprise. I'm sure Vance, Musk, and their goons would like nothing better than to introduce similar legislation here in the United States. As they continue to consolidate authoritarian power—watch for moves to remove broadcast licenses from media firms accused of promoting "childlessness," etc. 

It occurs to me that under Russia's law, we'd have to pulp all copies of Philip Larkin's collected verse. For—did he not pen the immortal line: "And don't have any kids yourself"? This occurs in the same justly celebrated poem that begins: "They f— you up, your mum and dad." Which seems to me a line that will soon be quite relevant to the many offspring of our new self-appointed overlords.