Banned in Russia

 Hopefully I've said enough pro-Ukraine things on the blog by this point to be considered outlawed and interdict in Russia. I'd consider it a mark of dishonor not to have done something imprisonable in Putin's regime by this point in history (though I mean by this no disrespect to the Russian people, who are as much Putin's victims as anyone—who have resisted him bravely and at infinitely higher personal cost—who have gone to prison by the thousands for daring to challenge his government). 

But a few months ago, the Russian government added yet another reason why I might be banned in the country: my defense of singlehood. As part of Putin's broader effort to portray himself as a bulwark of "traditionalism," in order to pander to the extreme right and erode support among U.S. conservatives for backing Ukraine's defense (a strategy that is plainly working—viz. J.D. Vance), the Russian Duma also recently passed a law proscribing the deliberate promotion of "child-free lifestyles." 

Eerily, the law came shortly on the heels of the whole J.D. Vance controversy, in which he insulted so-called "childless cat ladies." Now, Vance is returning the favor by trying to single-handedly tank any ongoing U.S. support for Ukraine and insult President Zelensky to his face. Here as elsewhere—it would seem—the Trump administration and Vladimir Putin are taking cues from each other. They are joining the war in lockstep against both cat-people and international legal norms alike. 

Now, my position has always been that I do not advocate for childlessness, single-hood, cat-ownership, or any other specific way of life. All I ask is to be allowed to live my way, and to let others live theirs. To the Duma, I therefore say—with A.E. Housman—let them "decree/ Laws for themselves and not for me." But, Housman was realistic enough to know that this would not content them. They would still: "make me dance as they desire/ With jail and gallows and hell-fire." 

Plainly, the Russian government is intent on making us dance to their preferred "trad" lifestyle with threats of jail and gallows. They have declared war on the "cat-ladies" and "cat-gentlemen" (of whom I will count myself one here, in solidarity, though in truth I don't really like cats)—i.e., the childless ones. As Marina Tsvetaeva once wrote: "We shall not escape Hell, my passionate/ sisters [...] we who do not lean over cradles[.]" (Feinstein trans.) The Duma is coming for them all with "hell-fire," just as Housman said. 

I therefore expect that my point that I'm not overtly advocating for childlessness—but merely saying that it should be accepted as one of the various legitimate life paths that one might take in this world—is the sort of nuance that would be lost on the Russian government (and on J.D. Vance too, for that matter). But in case I still haven't done enough to merit punishment at Putin's hands, let me compound the offense by repeating a now-imprisonable line from Philip Larkin: "don't have any kids yourself."